Have you ever been hungry without knowing it? But then you walked past a fast food joint and smelled all that good, hot, tasty grease, and went, “oooohhh…,” and then your belly went, “gruurrgh,” and then you realized you couldn’t stop to eat, you really had to be somewhere else, and you went “aauuggh”?
Have you ever worked really hard one day, without eating much? Went straight to bed (just crashed, totally zonked – too bagged for supper and utterly exhausted)? Then woke up in the morning with a ridiculously empty stomach? I do that! I’ll stagger around groggy for a little bit, and then I realize that what I really want is to eat something. As soon as my head clears, I start to hear the voice of my belly and I know it’s time for breakfast.
We all wake up with a voracious hunger, a special hunger, every single morning… but not for food. Often, we don’t consciously realize that we’re hungry, even though that day we’ll be trying our hardest to feed ourselves.
But every morning, we wake up… and we need to have a reason to get out of our beds. We have to have a meaning. How do we satisfy this hunger? We try to fill it by telling ourselves stories.
“I’m going to be a great computer programmer like Charles Nutter or Larry Wall.”
“I’m going to get a beautiful woman to marry me!”
“I’m going to be famous!”
“I’m going to be famous AND rich AND live in that beautiful house I saw yesterday with my beautiful wife and seventeen beautiful children!”
Sometimes I lie in bed after my alarm goes off and I tell myself all kinds of stories about who I can be and what kinds of things I can do. Depending on the kinds of stories I tell, I sometimes get out of bed happy… or sad. I don’t want to be trudging through a random series of meals and classes in school, through a boring set of projects at work! I want to be building a tall tower! I want to be fighting to the end for a noble cause! I want to be standing up and doing something IMPORTANT and having people say, “Look at him, he’s such a hero!”
(In MY stories, I’m always the hero. It makes me feel a little less hungry, because a good story fills my hunger to know who I am, where I’m going, and how I’m getting there.)
My stories have a dark side. I’m not always a nice person in them. (Is it considerate to wish seventeen children upon my wife?) When I win my Olympic gold medals, there’s no-one beside me on MY podium; Did I shove them out of the way to get there? Do I have compassion in the stories I tell? Humility? Not always. There’s usually some anger in my stories, very often some self-pity. ALWAYS pride. Actually, they’re almost always exclusively about me! Pretty narcissistic…
You know what’s scary? I’ll act differently, depending on which stories I’ve been telling myself. I’ll hold a door for a girl if I’m today I’m a knight, and I’ll bury my nose in a book and ignore that same pretty girl entirely if that day I’m busy being a great scholar. It’s frightening that I can act so differently on the basis of a story… but this is what I actually do! And because I live them out, I’m bothered by the dark edge to my own stories, where I am often vindictive, proud, selfish, greedy, lustful, lazy or frightened. When my daydreams bleed into my life, they cease to be harmless fun. And they bleed into my life every. single. day. I can’t stop them from doing so.
I can’t stop them because I’m telling them to myself exactly so that they will bleed over! I need to know who I am, where I’m going, and how I’m getting there. If I don’t know that, I might as well stay in bed, because… why not? Who knows, it might be better! But better or not, I have to tell myself a story if I don’t want to be comatose. Fortunately, the world is full of good things! I have a wonderful loving family and friends who are beautiful people; it’s not so hard to tell a story that gets me on my feet every day.
It’s a sobering thought that these stories are directing how I live. How do I know I that I am listening to and telling the right stories? ARE there “right” stories to tell? How much time should I spend listening to the stories that other people are telling? Are their stories better than mine?
You know what’s interesting? All people everywhere tell stories, and always have. Chinese and English and West African and East African and South and Central American – pygmies and peasants and aristocrats and beggars and sages and atheists and mystics, ancient, modern, and everyone inbetween…Talk to any anthropologist, anyone who studies people, and they will tell you that all peoples have lived and died by the stories they told themselves.[1]
When children are young, we feed them a neverending stream of stories. Just as with that other kind of food they eventually learn to feed themselves – and they will gorge on their own fare of movies, books, television, music (have you ever wondered why most of our songs have words?), playing pretend, and daydreaming. Sometimes they even write stories of their own.[2]
In many of the stories I tell, I’m a very small person in a very big world. This big world has millions (billions!) of people who are not me, and who are all telling themselves stories. But if I myself am bothered about the stories I tell, the dark edge I find on them, and the very little piece of the world that I help to shape, what is happening in the rest of the world?
Our human history is unfolding through the stories we tell: as individuals, as groups, as nations. Are Tutsi people my brothers, strangers, or enemies? Is one race better than another? Is my comfort more important than someone’s hunger? Does it matter that they’re far away from me and were born in another country? The shape of the stories we tell reveals our answers to these questions.[3]
It is terrifying how important these stories are, how essential it is to choose the right ones. This isn’t just about my lazy Saturday morning. This is about the world. We are a world of hungry people, people who have to eat. And we’re feeding ourselves, but are we feeding ourselves good stories?
This is crazy! I look at the news and see stories about the obesity crisis in North America, how we are dying early because we need to eat better… but I never see any story about the starvation for goodness in our cultural narrative. Sometimes I see stories about tragic suicides and school shootings. But do I ever see a story about how the chronic evil nature of our own storytelling is leading to oppression and death, not only of ourselves, but also of the poor around the world?[4]
The fact that we systematically ignore the problem – that we tell bad stories – is itself the very proof of the point. And why can’t we stop? Why can’t we tell a story so good that everyone says, “We should stop being greedy and selfish and show compassion to the hungry?”[5]
I have a sneaking suspicion that it has to do with who we are – with who I am – and is inextricably tied to why, when I’m scaling Mt. Everest one-handed at quarter to seven on Saturday morning, I’m thinking of no-one but myself.
But can I change that? How can I get good stories inside me? What are “good” stories?
I’ve got a fair few other blog posts cooking with my thinking on some of these questions, and I’m interested to know how people relate to my take on things. Opinions come free! Please leave yours via the comment link below,,,
[1] It’s possible to talk about this using terms like worldview, narrative, and modern and postmodern paradigms. But I don’t like that language, because it sounds funny to me. I’m indebted to NT Wright for his comments on worldview, also Henri Nouwen, both as cited here.
It’s also worth noting that if you’re prone to mercilessly mock Facebook as puerile and inane, you should recognize that we are incessantly posting party photographs and statuses not because we’re stupid but because we all have an irrepressible urge to share stories with one another and to be a part of each others stories. Back
[2] From an teaching point of view, it’s interesting that some media are much better at teaching our children how to tell and write their own stories. I think it has to do with how much a medium helps us to do the hard work of imagining. Back
[3]Nicholas Thomas Wright, The New Testament and the People of God (Minneapolis Minn. : Fortress Press, 1992), 122-126 Back
[4] Yeah, those folks whose nations our nations systematically abuse and whose economies ours systematically exploit because they’re small and we’re big. The other 99%. We dump toxic waste on them when we think we can get away with it. Back
[5] It’s tempting to say that we shouldn’t blame bad storytelling for worldly problems – that physical reality has more to say about how we act than the fantasies we tell ourselves. Stories can’t be that powerful, right? A story can’t change anything, can it?
I don’t know about that; just ask Joseph Goebbels. (On second though, don’t. He’s dead and the stories he told are disgusting – sickening. They only really held sway for a few years, anyway.) Why don’t you ask a really good storyteller like Jesus of Nazareth? He changed the course of 2000 years of history, and, on the evidence, isn’t done yet. Back


