Business as Usual
Written on February 4, 2010
Wednesday log is up.
Don’t forget to pay Shaun a visit!
Poor time-tracking during work hours today. I didn’t dedicate as much thought-space to logging as on Monday or Tuesday. I think it showed. In reality, I spent more time websurfing than might meet the casual eye, perhaps because I managed to break up my surfing into fractured little pieces – 1, 2, 5 minutes long; unworthy of explicit remark, but nonetheless significant when counted together.
I think I must be subconciously devious that way.
In particular, the way I’ve built my logging table means that I can’t have more than one categorization for slots, which is a shame, because some slots should be a mix of “work” and “internet”.
My day was also more fractured with more interruptions today, and I think that played a role. It also involved some technical stuff which didn’t go smoothly. When that happens I tend to get frustrated and want to surf.
Also I got to work later, which meant I didn’t have my usual ramp up time, so my surfing bled into a little later in the day.
Virtuous?
Today the buzz I felt on Monday has died down a little bit, but on Monday I felt tremendous pressure to be virtuous.
But what happens when I feel pressure to be virtuous? Does that mean I become more virtuous?
Or do I just change my behaviour?
I don’t want to diss behaviour modification, because I think it’s extremely important. But if I think that Scott the person is somehow magically different on this Monday because he’s scribbling notes in a little book and because he’s more task oriented, I’m sadly mistaken. I’m the same guy.
What does this experiment have to do with virtue as a state of being, with virtue as a state of soul?
The truth is, I’m not a different person this week, even though I may be behaving a little differently. (But not much, I still take naps in the evening and play video games. These are things that my pride would have me discard in an instant.)
But this does poke my pride. It does agitate some things that maybe I’m a little too attached to.
I’m quite self-concious about my web surfing, for example. It’s the thing I’m most interested in tracking. Am I some out of touch loser because my thought world is centered around the internet?
Virtue won’t come from my pencil and notebook, but my pencil and notebook might reveal some areas where peace and virtue need to make an appearance in my life.
Enough analysis. See you tomorrow, folks.
Filed in: personalinthepubliceye.