News Anchors

Why do we still have TV news anchors?

So far as I can tell, good news anchors embody the following:

• Bland and inoffensive
• Willing to endure a yuppie haircut
• Pretty face
• Ability to adhere to standard intonation pattern
• Don’t make racist jokes in front of a live camera(see ‘bland and inoffensive’)

Umm… I think I just perfectly described a CGI avatar.

Let’s look at how CGI anchors make things better in the news room.

• Perfect hair, perfect teeth
• Perfect intonation
• Perfectly scripted
• Don’t water down the newscast with sub-par reporting as part of their desire to perform ‘real journalism’
• Don’t make the rest of the staff upset about their disproportionate wage (“I could do that job. Anyone could do that job.”)
• You can turn them off.

Now…

If news stations were in the habit of putting real people in front of the camera, I would retract this post.

But why do things halfway?