The Pea – Part I

 I’m trying out a little game I thought up. The game is to retell a fairy tale or children’s story while omitting one of the major characters.

This is the Princess and the Pea… so long as you don’t count the princess (Part I). Next Monday… Part II!

The Pea

Once there lived a prince who, as all princes do, came of age to marry. However, no princess could be found who met the prince’s exacting standards. His father arranged for him to meet many princesses: girls from near and far; plain ones; lovely ones; rich ones; poor ones… The prince dismissed them all.

In each one he would find a flaw that disqualified her completely. “She’s no true princess,” he would say, “A princess must be kind. Gentle. Noble. Regal. She must command both love and respect.”

Eventually the king grew tired of his son’s refusal to chose a bride. He became angry, and swore that if the prince would not marry, then he would not ascend to the throne, and that his younger brother should be named successor. But the prince would not budge from his stance nor lower his principles.

The king became sick, and died. Before he did so, he kept his oath and named the prince’s younger brother as successor. The younger prince had not been overly particular in choosing a bride; his wife came from a wealthy kingdom and was quite pretty.

However, the old King’s choice of successor proved to be a very poor choice, for the new King was cruel and unjust. He was harsh with the people and had no compassion on them in their suffering. To his older brother he was viciously unkind, for he was afraid that the older prince would try and usurp the throne.

One day, when the older prince was walking in the garden, he heard a voice call his name. He looked around, but there was no one to be seen. But then he heard the voice again, and so he searched through the garden until he found its source.

The voice was coming from a single pea-plant, nestled among the flowers of the garden. From the plant hung a lonely pod, which the prince opened. It contained a solitary pea.

“It is good you have found me,” said the pea, ” for I have news that you should hear.”

“As I hang here in the garden, many people walk past, and so I hear the comings and goings of all the castle. Your brother, the king, is afraid of you. He has arranged for you to be murdered, this very night, so that you might not take the throne from him.”

At this the prince was overwhelmed with grief; although he knew his brother disliked him, he had not realized that it would cause his death.

“Take heart.” said the pea. “You are not dead yet; but you must flee the castle without delay.”

“Where shall I go? What shall I do?” cried the prince.

“Don’t worry about that,” said the pea, “but take me with you, and I promise you that you shall find good fortune, just so long as you are careful to follow my advice in everything. And now, it is time to leave.”

So the prince put the pea into his pocket and left the castle. Following the pea’s advice, he did not go to his chambers for any belongings, or even to the stable for a horse. Rather, he slipped out by the servants’ entrance and so escaped unnoticed.

As he was going down the road, he chanced upon a beggar asking him for alms. But he had no money  (what use does a prince in a castle have for market coin?) and was about to pass the beggar by, when the pea bade him stop.

“If you wish to travel safely,” said the pea, “you must not appear so princely as you are. Exchange clothing with the beggar; he will certainly be grateful for some finer stuff.”

The prince was unconvinced, for the beggar’s rags were poor indeed; in odor, fit and fashion they were utterly repulsive. The pea reminded him of the stakes, however, and he eventually agreed. For his part, the beggar was more than willing. Just as the pea had said, he was overwhelmed by the prince’s generosity.

The prince traveled away from the castle in the beggar’s clothing, trying to find a safe place where he could stay. But he had no provisions of any sort, and he quickly realized that his only hope was to follow the profession of his hastily borrowed uniform, and beg.

It was not easy for the prince to become a beggar and he wasn’t naturally talented at it. He carried with him much pride, which he was force to give up, with much sorrow. However, his work was made easier by the fact that the people he was begging from mostly knew what to do and how to treat him. The good folks treated him well, and the bad ones… well, they treated him badly.

But, with no place to go, and with no other opportunity presenting itself, the prince managed to carve out a role as a beggar. He was not totally overwhelmed, for he had the pea ever at his side, and from time to time the pea would point out to him a person who was liable to be more generous than another. And so, in this fashion, he traveled across the country he once believed would be his own.

All through this time the prince learned a great deal about the world, and about life, and about his own self. He asked a great many questions, mostly starting with, “Why?” and he worked his way past his own despair and dejection at being exiled. From time to time he questioned his friend the pea, reminding him that he had been promised good fortune. To this, the pea always bade him be patient, and assured him that all good things came to those who were willing to wait for them.

One day, at the end of a particularly long and grueling day of travel, the prince was resting at the side of the road. He was utterly spent, and although he had hoped to reach some town or village, his legs would bear him no further, and so he sat in the ditch at the side of the road.

In other circumstances, he might have found himself abominably hungry, but as it was, he could think only of his thirst. The road was dry and dusty, and he had found no streams or pools on his journey that day.

And so he sat in the dust and the heat, with his head down, covered by his beggar’s shawl, to shade him from the sun.

In his preoccupation with his fatigue and thirst, he did not hear the footsteps. But he felt the hand on his shoulder, and heard the voice.

“Excuse me, sir… would you like some water?”

The prince could not really think; he could not appreciate the rarity of someone offering him something, unbegged. He was too tired and thirsty for that.

He just looked up, and met the eyes of the girl bending down over him. And when he did, he knew.

He had found his true princess.