How to be a Big Man on the internet

Do you remember being a small person? An unhappy person? A person without respect, power or status?

Do you remember that day when the big kid two grades above you pushed you and you fell down and you cried because your clothes got dirty and you knew your mom would be angry at you but it wasn’t your fault?

The good news is that you don’t have to remember that day any more, because you can become A Big Man On The Internet. Because the internet is limitless, you can be as big as you want to be, as big as you choose to be, as big as you make yourself.

So make yourself big! Become… Abmoti!

Abmoti never has to  care about anything that anyone thinks.

Abmoti never has to listen to anything that anyone says.

Abmoti can say anything he wants, because he is Abmoti.

Abmoti can call anyone any name he wants, because he is Abmoti.

Abmoti cross-posts across mailing lists, because no one list can contain Abmoti.

Abmoti responds to every post, because no one can have the last word against Abmoti.

If you’ve ever met Abmoti, you know that it’s not pleasant. But being Abmoti, now….

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8 Responses to How to be a Big Man on the internet

  1. My personal definition of the internet is a place where anyone can find a pond so small that they can be they biggest fish. Everyone wants a place where they can feel important and break all the rules, and thanks to the internet there is now a place like that for everyone. Somewhere.

  2. happy_moron says:

    I find the internet has somewhat of an opposite effect on me. The biggest fish in the world are right next to me, in the internet world. It can be exhilarating, but also intimidating, a reminder of my smallness.

    On a semi-related note, Seth Godin kicks around an interesting idea that the way to excel and push through mediocrity (he calls it the dip) is to become the best in the world at something very small, and then to grow that thing.

    http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2008/12/10000-hours.html

    For every person, I’m sure there exists a thing such that they are the best in the world at it. It’s a nifty thought, to be sure.

  3. Abmoti post again so he get the last word. ;-)

  4. A. Lurkar says:

    Abmoti now has a face to go with the name:
    http://s-flight.hp.infoseek.co.jp/hobby-s/ok/abmoti/05250023.jpg

  5. happy_moron says:

    Why does it not surprise me that Abmoti turns out to be a school girl from Japan…

    Wonderful catch, A. (Can I call you A?)

  6. A. Lurkar says:

    You can call me A.L.

  7. happy_moron says:

    Yes, but I thought bodyguards were supposed to protect me from Lurkars.

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