The Happy Moron

Every proverb has a truer, more heavily qualified version.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… assuming no cliff-edge and/or mininal overhang.

A penny saved is a penny earned… neglecting the pennyworth of experience gained in the earning of a penny.

Haste makes waste… in systems (and at a scale) where reliability decreases with production rate.

Hindsight is 20/20… unless we’re reminiscing about High School. Then it’s all rose and/or puce coloured glasses. Ya shoulda asked her out, buddy.

Two heads are better than one… once you’ve picked your mark and proposed the sucker bet.

A picture paints a thousand words… except that stupid “Polar Bear in a snowstorm”. Sheesh.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket… although when you only have one it’s pretty tempting. (One egg or one basket… works either way)

God helps those who help themselves… and get on their knees and ask God to help them.

Waste not, want not… unless, of course, you simply have nothing to waste.

There’s no place like home… We’re not talking about home, right?

Talk is cheap… if you’re not a lawyer.

All good things come to him who waits… except the time he lost waiting. He’ll never get that back.

He who laughs last laughs longest… but sometimes if you “just got it” five minutes after the punchline, everyone just looks at you and you turn red and shut right up.

There’s no use crying over spilt milk… unless you do it loud enough and long enough and Mom gets tired of it and brings you another glass.

No man is an island… but if you split hairs endlessly and dissect common proverbs to a disgusting level of detail… Don’t expect to be flocked to at parties.