Again, I swipe from Bruce Schneier, the experience of a US interrogator who avoided the use of torture in Iraq. To summarize, he believes the use of torture is responsible for more American deaths than lives saved; it elicits a significant backlash and is a powerful recruiting tool for opponents.
Gee, someone should encode this knowledge in a handy well accepted truth. Maybe something like:
“You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”
or
“A harsh word stirreth up anger, but a gentle answer turneth away wrath.”
It’s a little embarrassing, actually, I can just picture the response:
“Oh! You meant turneth away. As in, away from me, so less wrath overall! Huh, why didn’t I think of that?”
I think I’ll have to generalize this to a rule of thumb. If what you’re doing involves torture, step back and reconsider. Yes, this includes finding out what to get people for Christmas.